All work and no play make Jessica a dull girl

can you name the movie? (obviously it doesn't have Jessica or girl in the line)

Anyways, what is meant is that I AM SOOOOOOOOOO SICK OF STUDYING!!!!!! I study for about 2-3 hours each night and everything is starting to blend together and I am getting so frustrated. I freakin pray I pass this damn thing because I do not wanna go through this again!

So our weekend was pretty interesting. We had pre-cana Saturday, which both of us had been dreading. It actually turned out better than we thought. We have to go back Saturday and although he won't blatantly admit it, I think Derek is looking forward to it. It was just a real eye-opener about certain things like the things we tend to fight about or things we need to work on as an individual or as a couple but most importantly it reminded us of why we are choosing to spend the rest of our lives together. Saturday night, we went over to Amanda and Zach's and sat around their firepit for a few hours. It was nice. They have the coolest cat in the world (well besides Josie lol!) but as I've said in a previous blog it is nice to have another couple to just chill with. I think Derek and Zach are realizing they have more in common and me and Amanda (I think) are slowly rebuilding our friendship. I know it will take time but with everything that we have been through together, I think we will get there. I know it won't be like it was before.. and I honestly hope its not. I want it to be better. I think we both deserve that.

N--E--WAYS.. Sunday I took Morgan to see HSM3. Wow. I love musicals and they have the tendency to be cheesy and over-the-top but the HSM series takes this to a completely different level. Needless to say, I'm glad Morgan enjoyed it.

There has been some drama lately with the whole wedding and family in general. I hope things get better.. it depresses me to think that it might not. And I think I've accepted most of it, but the child in me thinks I deserve better and refuses to completely give up on that. Part of me hopes I grow out of it, part of me thinks that the only bit of innocence or naivity I have left.

I love how others like to remind you of your past in uncomfortable situations with mixed company. Not cool. I just hope that someday those people will realize that I was ALWAYS a good girl; my decisions were not always good. And I realize that I shouldn't have to justify myself to ANYONE. The only thing I can do is continue being the person I am and hope that they will realize over time that I have changed. For the better. I am still not perfect. But then again.. who is??

Ciao